The Contest Of Wills

“…having…children in subjection with all gravity” 1 Timothy 3:4

“GRAVITY” is talking about control, having the upper hand. With children, you either get the upper hand with them, or they get the upper hand over you. How can parents lose the upper hand over their child? By failing to establish it, when the child’s will is contesting the will of the parent. Gravity is established by the outcome of what occurs in the contest of wills, as to whether or not the parent establishes the authority of their will over the will of their child.

In this contest of wills, no matter how good-hearted a parent is, if they do not establish the upper hand over the will of the child, the child will not respect the parent, but rather run over them as a weak-kneed pushover.

In the contest of wills, a child must consistently be subjected to the fact that anything the parent tells them to do, they must do it, for there will be no escape for not doing it. For example, in the use of a firearm for enforcement, the first rule is “never draw a gun on someone unless you have the will to use it” because all you will do is provoke the other party as they detect your lack of will to use the firearm.

In the contest of wills with your children, never tell them to do anything unless you have the will to enforce their doing it. Don’t tell your toddler to quit throwing their food on the floor if you are not prepared to put a stop to it. Don’t tell them to be quiet unless you are committed to making them be quiet. Don’t tell them to pick up their toys unless you are willing to do whatever is necessary to make them (not you) pick up the toys.

We have to win the contest of wills to have gravity, to have the respect of our children. To be a “softy” (too timid and heartless to subject your child to authority) is to lose the battle of wills with your child. To start losing the battle of wills with your child while they are in diapers will mean you won’t stand a chance of winning any of these battles when they are a teenager.

“Think not” that we can give in or fail to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. While doing the right thing may seem to be the hardest thing in the world to do at the moment, it is by far the easiest thing that can be done in the long run. Unless parents can hold themselves responsible to do the right things towards their children, they certainly will have no power to hold their children responsible to do that which is right.

Doing the right thing is essential to be a doer of God’s will!

SHARING

Save Them From The Curse

2 Kings 2:23-24 “And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.”

2 Peter 2:14 refers to cursed children. How tragic it is for parents to overlook the improper attitude and ways of their children while saying, “they are just a kid” and “they will grow out of it.” Where is there scripture for that in the Bible? God’s Word teaches that what one is as a child is what they will be when they grow up. That is why God emphasizes, “Train up a child in the way he should go” and “Correct thy son while there is hope.” God didn’t say that our children have a self-adjusting system unto uprightness, but He commands that parents bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He also says that a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame.

Conviction and faith in following the teachings of God’s Word for raising children God’s way has almost passed from the scene. Rather than a parent knowing God’s will and commanding their children in that way, parents are following the child’s dictates as to what they do or don’t want to do. Discipline is nothing more than a joke for many. Rather than children knowing what it is to respect and obey their parents, parents are trying to entertain and cater to their children to keep them happy. Why the problem with training and discipline? The parent is having a problem themselves. They are not distinguishing the difference between good and evil, truth and error. Thus the child will suffer all their life long and maybe for all eternity, due to the spiritual instability of the parent.

The question often asked is, “When do I start training them according to God’s Word, and how do I get them to behave in church?” God’s answer is, “Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept; line upon line; here a little, and there a little.” Isaiah 28:9-10 We must start right away with the basics and not allow wrong patterns to develop. By continually and consistently discouraging wrong behavior and promoting right behavior, the infant quickly responds. Even an infant knows by the mother’s tone of voice and look whether it is being praised or scolded, thus coming to realize what is acceptable and unacceptable to the parent. A baby craves and thrives on parental attention. They will repeat what has brought pleasant responses in the past, and gradually wean from that which is unpleasant. “Train them up in the way they should go.”

The early years of Moses’ life with his mother were especially important to him. In these formative years, at her knee, he learned of the true God. Her lips taught him the Word of God. It was from her that he knew it was better to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. She gave him the plumb line of God’s Word by which he tested all the learning and culture of Pharaoh’s court and found it wanting. No wonder Satan wants the children separated from a Christian mother in their formative years!

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The Leaven Of Dissension

“Dissension” = to think differently; to be given to taking an opposing position.

Dissension amounts to the opposite of unity and accord. Rather than seek peace and ensue it, dissension looks for reasons to disagree, to raise objections, or vent unreconciled feelings. Avoiding reason and understanding, dissension will raise doubt and create confusion. Rather than promote the common cause, dissension will be the fly in the ointment. By passing the positive, dissension will accentuate the negative. Failing to strive for the objectives, dissension will divert attention unto that which is contentious.

In Joshua 7, Achan was a dissenter, not requiring of himself to uphold God’s will, but rather choosing to do his own thing instead, even though it disagreed with God’s Word. He did so, not because he found fault with God’s way, but rather he desired his way instead. This brought defeat, death, and disappointment to the congregation at Ai, as well as resulting in the destruction of Achan and his family.

In Numbers 16, Korah, Dathan, and Abiram were dissenters, who cared not about allowing feelings to arise within them to the extent of leading a major rebellion against God’s leader, Moses. They not only ruined 250 princes of the congregation, but they also hardened the hearts of their own families, to their destruction.

In 3 John, Diotrephes was a dissenter in his church, to the extent that he sought the preeminence above all others. He set himself up as unapproachable. All had to yield to him, had to let him have the last say, or he would work to get them out of the church. This put him on a collision course with the Holy Spirit.

We must avoid raising dissension in thought, feeling, word, or deed. A little leaven works to leaven the whole lump. Rather, we must be given to those things that inspire peace and understanding. All dissension must be repented of in order that: “…ye all speak the same thing, and there be no divisions among you.”

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Crucified With Christ

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

“And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified.” John 12:23

Jesus counseled His disciples in view of His sufferings and self-sacrifice for our redemption on Calvary’s cross. Many times we don’t think about a certain situation until we are forced to go through with it, and then we devote our thoughts to see what is best.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” John 12:24

Life is comparable to many things. In His spiritual teaching, Christ compared it to seed. If you buy a pound of seed corn and never plant it, all you will have is a pound of seed corn. But if you plant it, the harvest will produce bushels of luscious corn!

“He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.” John 12:25

Thus the application. Many things are naturally desirable. Theyare more of a gratification to the flesh than a hardship. Such are the things of this world: pleasure, making money, and having and enjoying material possessions are gratifying and self fulfilling.

But when it comes to a real service to God, this is not gratifying to the flesh. Christ’s life is described as: “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief: and we hid our faces from him; he was despised and we esteemed him not.” Isaiah 53:3

Before His arrest, He was under great travail in Gethsemane: “Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” Matthew 26:38-39

“And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:44

Christ overrode His personal travail, by keeping His heart and mind set on accomplishing God’s will and purpose: “Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.” John 12:27

ARE WE WILLING to invest our life as seed into the service of God, overriding all the difficulty by keeping our heart and mind set on why God has left us on this earth?

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Secret Sin

“He hath said in his heart, God hath forgotten: he hideth his face; he will never see it.” Psalm 10:11
“Yet they say, The Lord shall not see, neither shall the God of Jacob regard it.” Psalm 94:7

Our reference to secret sin is as the verses state: the idea that one can do contrary to the will and way of God and get away with it as long as someone else doesn’t expose it. Secret sin is not due to ignorance, but rather the arrogance of man’s sinful nature, in thinking one is smart enough to do as one pleases, thus, “wise in one’s own conceits.”

The rebellious pride that commits secret sin has an elevated opinion of one’s self, as if they “…are as gods, knowing good and evil” Genesis 3:5. This lofty mentality thinks one to be capable of negotiating their own ways and judging for themselves what is best for them, rather than obeying God’s will and way. Thus are they not only willing to transgress God’s laws to do as they please, but they also boldly resist the Holy Spirit. “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Romans 3:18

But just as sure as God openly rewards that which is done faithfully in secret (Matthew 6:6), He shall also judge secret sin, “For nothing is secret that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” Luke 8:17

It is necessary for us to acknowledge and confess all our sins, secret and otherwise, unto God in order to be forgiven: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

“Confess your faults one to another…” James 5:16a. This does not mean telling all the details of specific sin to and before others (this is to be done between the individual and God), but rather this is owning up to and taking responsibility for our faults (our imperfections) and the problems our faults cause. (Faults are what we are; sins are what we do.) This is what true humility and charity is all about. “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10

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