“…having…children in subjection with all gravity” 1 Timothy 3:4
“GRAVITY” is talking about control, having the upper hand. With children, you either get the upper hand with them, or they get the upper hand over you. How can parents lose the upper hand over their child? By failing to establish it, when the child’s will is contesting the will of the parent. Gravity is established by the outcome of what occurs in the contest of wills, as to whether or not the parent establishes the authority of their will over the will of their child.
In this contest of wills, no matter how good-hearted a parent is, if they do not establish the upper hand over the will of the child, the child will not respect the parent, but rather run over them as a weak-kneed pushover.
In the contest of wills, a child must consistently be subjected to the fact that anything the parent tells them to do, they must do it, for there will be no escape for not doing it. For example, in the use of a firearm for enforcement, the first rule is “never draw a gun on someone unless you have the will to use it” because all you will do is provoke the other party as they detect your lack of will to use the firearm.
In the contest of wills with your children, never tell them to do anything unless you have the will to enforce their doing it. Don’t tell your toddler to quit throwing their food on the floor if you are not prepared to put a stop to it. Don’t tell them to be quiet unless you are committed to making them be quiet. Don’t tell them to pick up their toys unless you are willing to do whatever is necessary to make them (not you) pick up the toys.
We have to win the contest of wills to have gravity, to have the respect of our children. To be a “softy” (too timid and heartless to subject your child to authority) is to lose the battle of wills with your child. To start losing the battle of wills with your child while they are in diapers will mean you won’t stand a chance of winning any of these battles when they are a teenager.
“Think not” that we can give in or fail to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. While doing the right thing may seem to be the hardest thing in the world to do at the moment, it is by far the easiest thing that can be done in the long run. Unless parents can hold themselves responsible to do the right things towards their children, they certainly will have no power to hold their children responsible to do that which is right.
Doing the right thing is essential to be a doer of God’s will!
SHARING
